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LJ Idol Week 35: "Men and melons are hard to know"

LJ Idol Week 35: "Men and melons are hard to know"

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Me me
Meal time was always a battle. There was no denying it; Davi was a picky eater. K'tisha mustered an enthusiastic expression as she placed Davi's heaped plate in front of him. He promptly shoved it away.

"Nope. I don't like it," he pouted.

K'tisha tensed. "But you haven't even tried it!" she cooed. "I got it especially for you! And you must be hungry after school."

Davi deigned to hook his plate closer, and eyed the contents suspiciously.

"It doesn't look right." He prodded it. "Are you sure it's ready?"

"Of course it is, dear. The lady at the market helped me choose a good one, and all!"

"But, Muuum, it looks yucky."

"No. It's perfect. Look. Its skin is in perfect condition, no spots or marks, and it's exactly the right colour."

Davi scowled. "Jeq's family had one the other night, and it wasn't that colour."

His mother suppressed a sigh. "The lady at the market said the darker the better, so long as it's not too shiny. Davi, you need to eat."

He slumped back in his chair, glowering at her. She stifled an urge to shove the plate into his face.

"The lady taught me all about them! This was the absolute best one there! Good skin condition, good skin colour, a good weight for its size. It even passes the tap test!" She demonstrated.

He glared.

K'tisha sighed, and reached for a knife. "Look, I'll cut it up for you." She levered the blade through the skin, working off some suppressed frustration, and extracted a delicate slice.

"See? Look how red and juicy the insides are. Mmm, yummy." She pantomimed deliciousness, and shoved his plate back at him.

Davi sniffed, and sniffed again. "Mum, what's that smell?"

K'tisha sniffed, too. "That's funny, it smelled alright at the market." She gingerly prodded her carefully selected offering, and then hooked it up in one tentacle. The creature dangled loosely, its four funny appendages hanging down. She shook it, to little effect, then brought it towards her olfactory organ. "Eurgh!"

Revolted, K'tisha slithered across the kitchen and dumped the human into the recycler, then scrubbed her tentacles at the sink.

"Sorry, Davi. Shall I pop out and pick up a couple of Centaurians, instead?"

Davi nodded.
  • With thanks to http://www.thekitchn.com/5-tips-for-picking-perfect-melons-tips-from-the-kitchn-63939 ;)
  • "She pantomimed deliciousness."

    I can definitely see this happening, even with tentacles.

    The piece plays the quote so literally, but the language is ripe and juicy in the exchange. It's too bad that human goes bad so quickly.
    • It is literal, but I had fun with the literalness. Literality. Literalicity?
  • "No. It's perfect. Look. Its skin is in perfect condition, no spots or marks, and it's exactly the right colour."

    I suspected something terrible at around this point, and you proved me right. Why did you have to prove me right?!

    It is somewhat comforting to know, however, that even sentient creatures so alien to us have bratty kids.
    • I was determined to fit both men and melons into this piece ;) I do try to stick to the prompt!
    • That was my thought, too! I began to worry that the eaters were not human, but the 'food' might be.

      Yark!

      And yet, it suits the prompt well. :D
  • it's nice to know that picky eaters and pleading parents are universal. hee. and oddly enough this made me want some melon. (thankfully it did not make me want human for dinner.)
    • Watermelon is in season here, and they are really good this year! (Funny, because it's been a terrible year for everything else - tomatoes etc. are running about six weeks behind the usual schedule, just about everyone has had fungal problems on their passionfruit etc. The weather has been very strange.)

      I've never been a pleading parent, but then my kids aren't picky. Our kids know that they have to take one bite, and if they don't like it after that, they can choose to have a peanut butter sandwich instead. It used to happen about once a month, but I don't actually remember the last time one of them opted out completely! We serve avocado separate to our salads, since Finn and Xander don't like it, and Xander puts all of his mushrooms but one onto Vieve's plate, but that's about it.

      (I went on an ECE course with someone who was at another course with me, about 12 months previously. In tones of absolute horror, she related the story of someone she met who let their kids have peanut butter sandwiches if they didn't like dinner - she remembered the story but forgot it was me. All I'll say is that I'm not the one spending two hours battling her kids to eat dinner every night and dreading every meal time.)
      • i don't have kids, but i think you have the right idea. my parents used to make me and my sister try it first before we could say we didn't like it, but fortunately we weren't quite that picky - i mean, there was always something we'd eat, and if we didn't like part of something, we'd just pick it out. (like your kids and the avocado. :D ) altho my sister did claim to be allergic to cranberries when in fact she just didn't like them....
  • BWAHAHAHAHA! Such a literal interp of the prompt and it's wickedly funny. Also a bit grotesque there at the end and yet....so appropriate! :)
    • I go literal when I'm tired :P As in, lose all ability to know when people are pulling my leg. It's embarrassing sometimes.

      Edited at 2015-01-30 12:22 am (UTC)
  • Great little story :D
  • Ha!

    But geez, how big must these tentacle monsters be? A whole human fits on a child's plate!
  • This gave me a giggle.

    I was the kid who would eat anything. My brothers were the sort to puke all over the kitchen table before they took a bite of something they didn't like. Bleh.

    But seriously, how big ARE these creatures? O.O
  • I really appreciated the literal approach to the topic :) Humans are so gross!
  • Mm, Centaurians! Very cute take on the prompt.
  • Loved the fake-out! Great twist there.

    She stifled an urge to shove the plate into his face.
    I've been there with my own little monsters.
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